What is on the 13th Floor?

13 Dirty Drink Recipes: Cocktail Names That Should Not Be Uttered at a Work Conference

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You thought it was embarrassing to have to order your girlfriend a Stoli Raspberry and 7 UP? You wouldn’t want to be caught dead ordering some of these special cocktails in a large crowd. To avoid any confusion, hopefully you can make it clear that you would, in fact, like a mixed drink and not some sort of strange sexual favor from the bar staff. If not, you may end up getting some strange looks at best, or a toss out the door at the worst. Here are 13 cocktails that you should avoid ordering at your next family reunion or work conference.

 

Mountain Dew Me
2 oz Midori® melon liqueur
1 oz triple sec
4 oz pineapple juice
1 splash 7-Up® soda

 

Fill highball glass with ice, then add all ingredients. Shake and serve. Garnish with a Lime.

 

Oh, Mountain Dew. You were a favorite when I was a kid and needed a sugar high, but then I drank a whole 2 litre bottle of you one afternoon when I was 12 and vomitted everywhere. It’s nice to see that there is a drink now named after you – and it might also work as a double entendre when ordering this beverage to an attractive waitress. If the response is not what you are looking for, you can say, “Oh excuse me, I said, ‘Can I have a Mountain Dew please?’”. Then after she brings your soft drink to the table, pour some vodka from your hip flask into it. She didn’t have a sense of humor anyway…

 

Slippery Bald Beaver
1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
1 oz Bailey’s® Irish cream
1/2 oz strawberry puree

 

Pour ingredients into a stainless steel shaker over ice. Shake until ice cold. Pour into an ice-filled old-fashioned glass, and serve.

 

Definitely not the drink you order when you are out with the guys to watch the Fall Classic. Maybe, just maybe, it is acceptable to get a few shots of these if you run into a cougar, and you are looking for a sexually suggestive drink name that will simultaneously make a woman laugh, and alter the direction of your evening.
Bend Over Shirley
1 1/2 oz raspberry vodka
4 oz Sprite® soda

3/4 oz Rose’s® grenadine syrup

Fill a 12oz. glass with cubed ice. Add 1.5 oz. of Raspberry Vodka. Add Sprite, and top off with Grenadine. Garnish with two Maraschino Cherries.

 

Not the drink that you order at Grandma’s 80th Birthday. I don’t care if it is open bar at the fancy ballroom that your parents and aunts and uncles rented out for her, and even if there is no one in ear shot. You can’t let anyone in your family find out that you drink beverages named this way. Because you know what will happen – you will get drunk and after a while you’ll start offering up the name of the drink to anyone that will listen… that would just be weird. But then, your uncle Rick might take you to the kitchen go get some water and maybe a coffee. This is his way of telling you that you are acting like an ass, even though he is saying “It’s ok, you just gotta pace yourself buddy.”

 

Butt Sex
2 oz strong black coffee
1 oz vodka
1 oz triple sec
1/3 oz lemon juice

Fill with whipped cream

 

Start with the coffee, preferably espresso. Add in the vodka, triple sec and lemon juice (lime juice can be used instead) and stir. Top with the whipped cream.

 

Butt Sex. See BendOver Shirley.

Suck, Bang & Blow! 
1 oz Jacquin’s® orange flavored gin
1 oz Rumple Minze® peppermint liqueur
2 oz Goldschlager® cinnamon schnapps
1 oz Jagermeister® herbal liqueur
3 oz Jose Cuervo® Especial gold tequila
1 oz Hpnotiq® liqueur
1 oz Smirnoff® vodka
1 oz Absolut® Citron vodka
1 oz Aristocrat® triple sec
1 peeled, whole lime
5 oz strawberry daiquiri mix
2 cups cranberry juice
1 cup sugar

 

Add all ingredients to a blender with ice, and blend until smooth. Pour into a hurricane glass, and serve.

 

As this name would indicate, this drink is a whole lot of fun. Just look at that ingredients list. This would probably be my last drink if I were on my way to rehab (literally drinking this while driving there), as well as If I were just about to be put down via lethal injection.
Ass
1 oz Absolut® vodka
1 splash DeKuyper® Sour Apple Pucker schnapps

 

Almost-fill a shot glass with Absolut vodka. Top off with a splash of DeKuyper’s sour apple pucker, and serve.

 

This is the kind of drink that you can joke with your friends in a innocent pre-party environment. You just don’t want to be caught yelling for ass at the bar later that night.
Sex on My Face
1/2 oz Yukon Jack® Canadian whisky
1/2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1/2 oz banana liqueur
1 splash cranberry juice
1 splash pineapple juice
1 splash orange juice
Mix in tall glass w/ice.

 

The beach is dirty. Sand gets everywhere. This is a drink you may want to be caught yelling for at the bar, especially if the bartender is attractive, humorous and you actually have a chance with her. Most likely though, she’s just flirting with you to get better tips and you’ve just been put in her mental file bin labeled ” creepy guy”.

 

The Blow Job
1/2 oz anisette
1/2 oz Irish cream

 

Layer in a shot glass; Irish cream on top, and serve.

 

Who doesn’t love blow jobs? As emmasculating as this drink sounds and looks when someone is taking one, you can’t deny that they are fun. Maybe it’s just fun to hear girls say “it”.

 

Screaming Orgasm
1 oz vodka
1 1/2 oz Bailey’s® Irish cream
1/2 oz Kahlua® coffee liqueur

 

Pour first vodka, then Bailey’s, then Kahlua into a cocktail glass over crushed ice. Stir.

Caution: use only high quality vodka. Cheap vodka can cause the Bailey’s to curdle. Test your brand of vodka by mixing 1 Tsp each of vodka and Bailey’s first.

 

If only mixing a drink would deliver an “O”, right guys? Well, either way… this is a tasty beverage. Reminds me of a White Russian, but with a better name.

 

The Leg Spreader
1 oz 1800® Tequila
1 oz vodka
1 oz gin
1 oz rum
Mix in glass and enjoy.

 

The Leg Spreader. Not just a cleaver name. Everyone knows what happens when Tequila is brought into the mix. You just gotta make sure you don’t drink too much or eat that gross worm the Mexicans put in there.

 

Slippery Nipple
1/2 oz Bailey’s® Irish cream
1/2 oz butterscotch schnapps
Serve as is.

 

The Slippery Nipple is a fun drink name to say, but once again you gotta be careful when you order this drink. I went toSan Diegoand had some Slippery Nipples with a couple of Asian girls last weekend. That is ok. If I were to go play some Golf with my friends from college, however, I’d probably stick to Light Beer. Maybe a Microbrew.

 

Blue Balls
1 oz raspberry vodka
1 oz coconut rum
1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
Pour one part of all three ingredients into a shaker, with ice. Mix well and serve as double shots.

 

I don’t know when I’d ever want blue balls. I think the only time you’d ever get one of these drinks is if your girlfriend comes back to the booth with shots for you and all of your friends, and she gets everyone else a kamikaze except for you. Instead she gets you a Blue Balls. It’s her clever way of telling you that she might be holding out on you later, if you don’t stop making fun of her weird ass family.

 

Afghanistani Whore
4 oz rum
1 can root beer
4 oz vodka
Just pour to taste and enjoy.

 

The Discipline to Write DailyOctober 1, 2010 · By Chris Brogan

My friend, Frank McMahon, asked me how I was able to write a blog post every day. The mechanics of writing daily are one thing. But it’s the discipline that really catches most people. Let’s talk about the discipline required to write daily.

It Requires a Stillness

To write daily, you have to find a moment of stillness where you can put down your thoughts. Parents know that this is difficult. Busy people know that it’s difficult. And yet, there are ways to find stillness. We simply must build the desire to find that time into our daily habits. Never look for a time that’s ideal. Look for the time you can grab. Right now, I’m doing this post in the morning before the kids are awake. I sometimes sneak time at night. Other times, I can write in between projects at work. I hunt for the stillness.

It Requires a Practice Mind

Some writers are afraid that their output won’t be good. If you can accept that you’re write daily, and frequently, then you’ll know that you’re practicing. Runners know this. They have bad runs and they have great runs, and along the way these add up to improvements in their personal records. My friend, Laura in Altanta, contacts me once every week or two to let me know she’s pushed past another personal record in her running. She also tells me when she’s had a bad series of runs in a row. It’s all part of it.

The same is true with writing. Not everything I write is my best work. But I release it when it seems done, and I try again for the next piece. By the way, what I think of my writing is rarely what you think. The pieces I hate, or the pieces that come out really fast and seem obvious are the ones you praise. The ones I work hard on, I get a few comments and they float under the bridge.

Writing Daily Requires a Curiosity

I write all the time, every day. The thing is, I write quite often in my head, and only sometimes into a keyboard or onto paper. That’s how it is when you’re a writer. You’re talking to a friend and they say something with an interesting turn of phrase, and you forget everything else they’re saying. You hear one thing though someone said something else and it sets you off down the rabbit hole. Alice, of Wonderland fame, was curious. There would be no book were she not such a nosy investigator of things that weren’t her business.

Writing Daily Requires Framing

Things go so much better when you have a writing frame of some kind. That way, you know the rough shape of what you’re going to produce. If you’re writing fiction, you know to keep the plot and the characters moving along. If you’re writing haiku, you know to keep it brief. If you’re writing couplets, well, you get the point. I can face the keyboard with confidence because I know that I’m going to produce a certain kind of piece. It will be part story, part explanation, and part instruction. It will end (hopefully) with you feeling interested in adapting and taking the idea to execute on your own.

I do that by framing.

Writing Daily Requires a Fall-Forward Mentality

On the day you miss a post, don’t throw it all away. Just write two the next time you have a moment. Start writing in advance of the day. Start preparing for the bumps in the road. And then, you’ll have quite a lot of stretch in your world, so that you can still write daily, even when you miss a day (our little secret).

Writing Daily Requires Confidence

Finally, accept that you’re a writer. You might not be the best writer. You’re a writer, and you’re one of us (writers). Be that. Don’t say that you’re not a writer because you haven’t written a book. I’ve met several people who aren’t writers who have written books. I have met several people who aren’t writers who have written bestsellers. You’re a writer because you write. You’re a writer when you write. Writing is a verb, the way love is a verb. If you’re not actively writing (even when we write in our head), you’re not writing. So, write.

Right?

Facebook’s chief operating officer, Sheryl Sandberg, published an interesting read that outlines the social network’s stance on the role of advertising on Facebook. In it, she makes the case for Facebook’s attempt to make all aspects of the site a social and personalized experience. In this connected environment, even the ads a user is presented with are suited to their specific interests. Sandberg also discusses Facebook’s position on privacy and the type of information the company shares with advertisers.

Check it out at The Facebook Blog.

Seth Godin’s Blog

The 2.0 media tour

 

[I'll be updating this post all day, just fyi, click through to see the latest update]

You know by now that I haven’t gone to any traditional media for the launch of my new book – no pitches to newspapers, magazines, or television. Instead, I went directly to my readers and the many intelligent voices online. I sent review copies by request to my readers – who were generous and creative in their reviews, and now we’ll hear from the bloggers and other online denizens. This is the short head of the new long tail, the group of professional and semi-pro writers and journalists that are increasing in influence daily.

I spoke to over 40 different people from various industries and blogs about Linchpin. I was given a warm reception by artists, business blogs, marketing sites, brand innovation sites, and creative blogs. It was a blast. My interaction with them reminds me that the the online world is quickly becoming even more human and connected everyday. The page summarizing all of the links is right here.

There are a lot of people on this list, and I respect every single one of them, for their insights, their generosity and for plugging away at a medium that’s just getting started.

Here’s what we talked about, organized by general theme and topic. There are some overlaps, but I figured rather than talking about my book on this blog, I’d let them lead the conversation.

Thanks to each of these big thinkers for sharing some time with me, and thanks to you for reading! If you find a blog you like, don’t forget to subscribe to it.

What is an Artist?

• Michael Hyatt: Over the top generosity from the head of one of the largest book publishers in the world. Michael interviewed me about making a difference. Visit his site if you’d like to win a free copy of the book.
• Tom Peters: A guest post on the blog of one of my role models and heroes. I take on the idea of ‘excellence’ and what it means now.
• Good Experience: Mark practically invented the science of simplified web design. I do a guest post about why artists break things.
• Gaping Void: Your favorite cartoons-on-the-back-of-business-cards provocateur generously asks me ten (hard) questions, and I generously answer them.
• Pilgrimage of the heart: Jeff and I talk about breaking rules, technology and art.
• Art of Non-Conformity: Chris is at the forefront of rethinking work. We talk about the courage needed to do it. And plumbers. It keeps coming back to plumbers.

Shipping and The Resistance

• Behance: I first launched the ideas in Linchpin at their conference last year, and here’s a guest post about shipping.
• Steve Pressfield: The godfather of the resistance, the five-star general in the war against fear, Steve takes on the ideas in Linchpin and asks me some hard questions about my personal creative habits and the idea of making a ruckus.
• White Hot Truth: Danielle takes on the burning questions of pushing yourself to do art that matters.
• Ruzuku -Another Step Forward Rick is leading a tribe of entrepreneurs. We talked about why I wrote the book and how entrepreneurs can use it. And I talk a little about golf.

Creativity and Art

• Dan Pink: Dan’s new book is really terrific, and he let me interview him about it. 
• Derek Sivers: The man who re-invented music distribution for indie bands. We talk about good vs. great music and why there’s already plenty of good.
• Merlin Mann: Merlin is well-known for inventing inbox zero, and we did a podcast together about creativity.
• Martha Beck: One of the most well-known coaches, Martha is a leading thinker on how individuals can make a difference. We talk about jazz and writing…
• Jennifer Lindsay: What keeps one writing, a video conversation.
• B.L. Ochman: I did an interview with BL about what keeps marketers (and people) from being creative.
• Richard Pachter: Richard is a regular reader. He tracked me down and we did an interview about curiosity for the Herald.
• Cool Hunting: A cutting edge site about the changes driving our culture. A podcast about my take on art.

Be a Linchpin, Be Indispensable

• Duct Tape Marketing: John is the Peter Drucker of small business tactics. In this podcast, that’s what we talk about (small business, not Peter Drucker).
• The Happiness Project: Gretchen dives into how you can become indispensable (and whether it will make you happy).
• WebInkNow: David Meerman Scott is the Charles Darwin of new media marketing, tirelessly chronicling how it works. In this video, we talked about becoming indispensable.
• Tonic.com: Where are the good things in life? That’s what this site is about, and we talked about making change.
• Fuel Your Creativity: On the intersection between digital arts, graphics and becoming someone they can’t live without.
• Marty Wilson: You can see a picture of me when I was 18. We talk in depth about learning to be a leader, canoeing and how you can choose to make a difference.
• Crazy Engineers: Not so crazy, actually. Driven, but not crazy. This is an interview about how a cube-dweller can make a big impact.
• IQ Partners is an executive search and retention firm. We talked about the new standard for people worth hiring.
• Gail Goodwin: Gail writes about non-traditional thinking and opportunities. We talked about creativity and being remarkable.
• Charlotte AMA: Some very sharp marketers in Charlotte. We get tactical on this podcast.

Entrepreneurs, Money, Art and Balance

• Lee Stranahan: Lee often writes for Huffpo and we discussed (via podcast) the power a Linchpin has to change things. We all live in Detroit now.
• Joi Ito: If you don’t know Joi, you should. I interview this cutting-edge linchpin on his blog.
• Personal MBA: Josh and I did an interview on entrepreneurship and stepping out of the status quo.
• Writing on the Web: Patsy and I talked on this podcast about coaching and making a difference.
• Ladies Who Launch: Shipping and marketing with the ladies who know how to do it.
• Mongezi Mtati: This video interview wins the prize for longest-distance by Skype. Mongezi called in from South Africa to talk about the struggle between giving it away and making money.
• Mixergy: A podcast with the always interesting Andrew Warner. (Transcript too)
• Twist Image: Mitch is at the cutting edge of what it takes to succeed in new media. He lives it every day (in Canada even!). We talked about What Matters Now on this podcast.
• Fearless Business: Mediocre obedience and being remarkable are covered in this video.
• Be The Media: David and I use this podcast to talk about how innovative thinking impacts distributed media. And he has a great logo.
• Self Growth.com: Brian interviews me on self improvement and becoming indispensable.
• Untemplater: Jun and I talk about the value of an MBA and entrepreneurship.Hint: not so much. We do a video chat.
• Careerealism: Because every job is temporary.
• Site Visibility:  Kelvin and I talk on this podcast about remarkable products and their place in a world of SEO and clicks.
• Neville Hobson: A podcast about innovation and marketing.
• Mark Ramsey: Mark is a visionary about the future of radio. In this podcast, he’s his usual insightful self, and I try to keep up. This is the new normal.

Connecting, Being Human, and why it matters

• Flowerdust.net: Anne Jackson understands the power of faith, regardless of religion. She’s worth learning from–and she was kind enough to give me a guest post.
• Sasha Dichter: Sasha works for Acumen Fund and writes a powerful blog about giving and philanthropy. We talked about whether there will be a surplus of linchpins and my early history in working for not much money.
• Marketing Over Coffee: Just like it sounds, except I had tea. We use this podcast to talk about the death of the factory.
• First Friday Book Review: Robert Morris, an inveterate Amazon reviewer and journalist, interviews me about the book.
• John Moore: One of his classic (and very funny) video readings, this time of a little bit of Linchpin. Horrifying.

Education and Giving Gifts in the new economy

• Personal Branding Blog: The power of applying linchpin thinking to your own brand. This is a PDF magazine for download.
• ArtBeat of America: On Rick’s podcost, he and I talk about artists who can’t draw.
• Rethinking Learning: Barbara asked some startling questions about whether higher education has a future.
• Book Blade: Randy and I talked about education and the broken school system in this video interview.
• Goose Educational Media: Chris Taylor interviews me on video about changing education and being remarkable.

Shenpa, Emotional Labor, and Fear

• Pam Slim: Pam wants you to quit your job. I did a short guest post on her blog about why that might be hard for you and how to get started.
• Communicatrix: More than communication, insights that turn things upside down. Colleen will make you think.
• Innovate on Purpose: Jeff asked some hard questions about mediocre obedience and being a cog.
• Church of Customer: Jackie and Ben pioneered the idea of the 1%, and in this interview we cover five questions that matter to marketers (and artists of all stripes).

Thanks to each of these big thinkers for sharing some time with me, and thanks to you for reading! If you find a blog you like on this list, don’t forget to subscribe to it.